running on tylenol.

Home for thanksgiving weekend. I think I caught a cold the other day ’cause I was too lazy to use my other, warmer blanket (it’s being used as my makeshift headboard right now). Anyway, being bed bound gives me a TON of time to think–sometimes too much–which explains the random blog posting at 11pm, when I really should be sleeping to recharge.
Here I am, upstairs in my room, laying in bed, while the rest of the family is downstairs living their lives. This is probably what me being away in Long Beach is like, right? The four of them breathing each others’ air, while I’m close, but still away. It got me thinking…and I may or may not be right about these things…each of us, we’re not necessarily needed in ANYONE’s life.

I know. that’s ridiculously pessimistic to say.

But really though. I’m sure we can all survive with a loving relationship with God and we’ll be fine. And I know I say this a lot…if you’re ever in a small group discussion with me or something…God gives us relationships for a reason. Though my family doesn’t NEED me to survive, there’s something about relationships and having them that makes life a lot more interesting. It reminds me of that one George Clooney trailer for “Up in the Air”? I think that’s what the movie’s called. He said something about how relationships add soo much complexity and baggage to a person’s life.

hm. ok..I have no idea where I was going with that, but it definitely leads to the following..in my head…

So I’ve been struggling and overthinking my photos sometimes. Just staring at my older photos and loving those so much more than the shots I’ve been taking recently. There’s something different about the old ones…kind of that whole raw-ness? How I let myself explore…I’m trying to figure out whether these photos I take now are really, truly my own, or are they just REALLY REALLY inspired by other photographers? (REALLY REALLY inspired = almost exact replicas?)

I DO try to live by the whole gut-feeling idea…I’ll only keep it, if I really do LOVE it.

then there’s that whole talk about how a photo should capture a moment in time and tell a story without words. Not gonna lie, I think i wrote that for one of my UC essays. (They probably knew I was totally cliche and bs-ing…hahah)

yeah, scratch THAT whole thing.
I love stories. I love it when someone looks at my one of the poorly printed pictures up in our apt hallway, and I get to tell them something about it–kay, not a story, usually a joke. But still! There’s something really cool about that, maybe that’s my little “trisha chan stamp” that I’m adding to them to make them my own. I DUNOOO. even THAT sounds really cliche now that I have it typed out. I guess this is where it relates to my previous ramble. Pictures don’t NEED commentary or a story or a brilliant comedic line…but with them…it’s kind of a great duo.

But seriously though…pictures may be worth a thousand words…

ok. I was going to write something really great, but it all made me sound extremely egotistical.

HAHAHAHAHHA.

and I know, these wordy long entries are SO skim-worthy. (SEE?! maybe if i added a picture, it’ll create some interest…)

so I’ll end this with, what do YOU think?

Advertisements

One response to “running on tylenol.

  1. Hmmm … so I think I can relate to the first part of your entry. “We aren’t necessarily needed in anyone’s life”. For myself as the each year goes on and school comes closer to being finished I’ve realized how much I have branched off from my family. They definitely don’t need me for much. There are times where they ask me to do things for them, but they stop expecting me to really do anything for them. As you get older your life gets busier and busier with more things to balance in your everyday schedule. This makes it a bit hard to include even the close loved ones you have had in your life, especially your parents and siblings. I was having a conversation with another friend about a week ago and she told me something along the lines of “the more people you meet and get to know will lead to you taking away more time that would have been spent with the close people you have in your life (close friends/family)”. I don’t know if I can make a good example out of this, but I’ll try (maybe you already know what I mean, but I’ll pretend like you don’t). So for example, the relationship you build with God is based on the amount of time you spend getting to know him through prayer, church, or fellowship. If you spent your life only focused on him then you might find yourself being very close to God and building an everlasting relationship. I think the same applies for the friends and family we keep around us. The same time has to be spent getting to know them and building a strong relationship. The point I’m trying to get at is the more and more people you try and get to know personally the more your time gets dispersed. Your time will never be equal to each person and your time will always include more tasks than just being able to focus on the ones you care about. Because of this we build our lives to eventually be independent of others, but also to be able to carry the strong relationships that were built throughout our lives to always fall back on if we need to.
    I saw the preview for the new George Clooney movie and it looks good. That line from the movie makes a great point. I think I could agree with it … what about you?
    As for your photos … sounds like you’ve run into an interesting road block. Thinking about what you said I feel like there could be different types of photos. Maybe ones that do tell a story like you said, but also photos that stand alone and put a person in AwWw for what they are. Like you said it always helps when you have them to make a great duo.
    That’s kind of what I thought … hope it makes sense. I’m not much of a writer. I’m over here on the east coast and I’ve been up for the past 24 hours … I can’t believe I’m still functioning. Well hope you are well and feeling better by now.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s