the thing i hate about being away for many days is having to explain how my trip was afterwards.
but it is necessary.
one day when all my journals have disappeared or been engulfed in flames, i want to be able to look back on my ‘blog’ and read about mt. hermon.
mm. this won’t necessarily be a full-on reflection of my short 10 days there, but hopefully one that i will be satisfied with enough to click “save changes” at the end.
where to begin?
let’s just say…
mt. hermon was amazing.
no, GOD is amazing.
it’s easy to say that mt. hermon, or a retreat, or a praise night is amazing.
but God was the one who moved me. not the event. Jesus!
this week was all about being still and knowing that God is.
first time experiencing being a cabin leader. ’twas an experience, indeed.
there’s that added stress of actually being partially responsible for these four girls you’re given.
will they like me? i’m not even godly!
all that jazz.
while driving up north, i read the first few chapters of “crazy love.”
i suppose i was drawn to the book because of two reasons:
1. the author has the same last name as me-he’s asian! :O
2. i guess the words i was reading felt like an answer to the rut i was stuck in for the past few months.
rewind back to the past few months:
i’ve been having that longing, that desire, for more of God.
you know, constantly thinking…there’s got to be more than this.
more than the normal Sunday christian thing, the usual fellowships, the usual small group meetings. i mean, they’re all great and wonderful and i’ve grown so much spiritually. but this isn’t the only thing God planned me for, right?
as ariel sang, I WANT MOOOREEEEE!
so that’s what i asked God for.
i asked Him for more.
i asked Him to take my spotlight and simply cast me as that extra on set.
i remember watching this youtube thing-the hillsong “lead me to the cross” blog, where brooke talked about how everyday she asks God to lead her to the cross-everything she does, she wants it to lead her to the cross. something like that.
and so, i asked Him to lead me to the cross.
again, with all the stress, all the pressure, that need to please the kids.
God kind of hit me with reality, saying…trisha chan, it is so NOT about you. (if God spoke that way)
i remember going to bed one night feeling completely frazzled and helpless, worrying about tomorrow.
and God said, “hey, be still. give me your burdens. give me your worries.”
it’s like something we’re always told. but it still hit me like a ton of bricks.
i sat down outside that morning in the freezing north cali morning fog just journaling.
i haven’t written about my thoughts in a long time, unless it was in an email to scarletto.
i don’t think i’ve ever really honestly expressed myself to God, but it was such a relief.
i want to type out all my journal entries here. but that’d be too much reading for all of us.
so i’ll cut it short here and say that when we’re really transparent with one another and when we’re transparent with God, He moves mountains in us. He makes change possible in our lives. He can’t work if we’re just shutting Him and everyone else out right?
this week i’ve realized how God is so crazy in love with us.
He’s got His hand reaching out to me. I’ve just got to respond.
so with that, an entry with no visuals is a little boring, doncha think?
here’s a few, most i stole from fb.
oh how i love facebook.
yeah, i’m thinking about going back next year.
thanks all for the prayers and support!